This is a cautionary tale to those of you who have just stepped into the realm of toddlers. I don't think I fully comprehended how quickly a 13 month old can move. I've been warned from other harried mothers and I've read about these incorrigable creatures; but nothing sends the message home like your own experience. Daddy was gone on Sunday with drill weekend, so the Macaroon and I were cleaning house (I say "we" very loosely, the baby was actually not as helpful as you might think). I was busy making our bed and putting away clothes and keeping one eye on the the little monster. One eye was not enough my friends. I turned to see my child with my nightstand drawer open (and yes, I'm married, we all have THOSE drawers!), and she was trying to chug from a bottle of LUBE! The lid was sealed thank goodness, but the picture of my beautiful daughter, head back trying her best to get some liquid into her was too much for me to bear. The bottle of Astroglide was snatched from her little pudgy hands and put away in a hopefully much safer place.
Thinking a disaster was averted, and busily rehearsing my story for when Daddy came home I failed to see my girl making her way out of our bedroom. I noticed she was gone finally and went looking for her. I could hear her squeals of joy and followed the noise. I found her, in the laundry room, splashing in the dogs' water. As I lifted her up, I saw that she had been splashing the water and then was wiping it up with a BREAST PAD!! Unbelieveable! And she protested quite shrilly when I pulled her away from the natural disaster in my home.
Needless to say, eyes are peeled for trouble from this adorable little creature. Hopefully, she doesn't feel the need to continue to empty the drawer of pleasure and take anything else out; because I'm pretty sure that the next time will occur at a socially crippling moment.
Ahhhhhhhh, motherhood!
Welcome to the H E double hockey sticks that is toddlerhood. Why oh why do we encourage them to walk and celebrate when they do? Margaret ALWAYS went for the toilet. One Thanksgiving we fished her out of every toilet at Grandpa's house--count 'em THREE in one day! Mack has a world to explore, darn it. How will she ever figure out what dog water and Astroglide taste like if you stifle her adventures? : )
ReplyDeleteDrawer? What drawer? I don't get it. What is this astroglide you speak of? Aren't all your cabinets and drawers sealed shut with child-safe, non-toxic, environmentally-friendly locks? This could have been avoided you know. I hope you feel my judging eyes upon you.
ReplyDeletebwaaaahahaha! I think a greater tragedy would be if she was able to chug the astroglide and then where would you and Troy be later that night?! Chaffing is no laughing matter!
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